Crime & Punishment

If you have read Crime & Punishment by Fyodor Dostoeveskym or watched The Machinist or Seven Pounds or Rakh,you would understand what i am talking here.Well protoganist in these are traumatised by guilt of crime or accident that has happened in thier life. Suffering from self-inflicted pain & searching for punishment or ways to get freedom from guilt.And when they find it, they rest in peace after years of unbearable malancholic delinquency.

I am also hanging in same gallows,but i am not even aware of my Crime,so how can i search for Punishment which will free me from this infliction.All i can do is search hopelessly in this Labyrinth for the Peace.

What is my crime??Is it that i don't sing your Anthem,The Anthem of Idiocracy.See i don't stop you from singing your Anthem,so why are you punishing me for not singing it.I don't have any intention to belittle you,so why you after my.How long i will have to bear burden of your incompetency.I know you don't need me in this Idiocracy & i am also searching for exit doors, but it's too late now.I wish i could walk out & live what i am mean't for.

May be my crime is, it took me too long to discover myself.To know that i don't belong to the skin i am living in.I desperatly want to remove it but it has got stuck.